Hints, Allegations, and Things Left Unsaid
by turtlesparadise
Summary: Nearly ten years after Chelsea's deception and betrayal of Rude, their paths cross most unexpectedly in Wutai. Can both of them come to terms with what might have been, and any unresolved feelings they might still have? Rated T for a bit of profanity.


**Usual Disclaimer: Don't own them, wish I did. This is written for fun and not profit. Written for an FF7 fanworks exchange on Tumblr.**

* * *

It was a quiet, post-mission cocktail between the two partners at Turtle's Paradise - well, as quiet as anything with _Reno_ could be. Rude basked in the burn of the booze against his throat as well as the relative silence within the bar, Reno unusually subdued and un-chatty.

Rude knew his partner as well as he knew himself, and he didn't even have to look up from his drink to know that Reno's posture and demeanor had suddenly shifted from tired and relaxed, to stiff and wary. He sat up straighter in his chair, following Reno's line of sight to the door, when his heart -

 _Stopped_. Well, nearly. Rude could hear Reno's voice vaguely, through a brain-haze that felt like thick cotton. Moments later the ringing in his ears ceased, though the dazed feeling had not left him, not yet.

"Son of a bitch," Reno muttered, narrowing his eyes into flinty, suspicious slits. "Of all the bars in the entire world, why the fuck did she have to end up here?" His voice was a low growl, protective.

 _Chelsea_. How many years had it been? But there she was, as beautiful as ever, hair hanging in tousled waves past her shoulders. She hadn't spotted Rude, not yet, and simply looked as she stood in the doorway of the bar. She was apparently gauging whether or to go in, when she spotted him, sitting at the end of the bar.

Chelsea froze, her eyes locking upon Rude's - of course he was wearing his sunglasses, he always wore his sunglasses - and backed out quickly. Rude was on his feet in an instant, ready to go after her, when he felt a hand close upon his arm.

"Reno," Rude hissed at his partner. "Let. Go."

"Don't go, Rude. Don't go after that little bitch, after what she did to you?"

Rude's forearm pressed against Reno's windpipe before he even realized what he was doing. The bartender paused while polishing a water-spot out of a wine glass, stared for a moment, and then turned away. He wasn't about to get in between a couple of Turks.

"Don't," Rude growled at his partner through clenched teeth. "Don't ever call her that."

"I just - " Reno wheezed, hating how pathetic he sounded, how weak he felt against Rude's unexpected assault. Or maybe he _should_ have expected it, but damn it, he didn't want to see Rude chasing after that woman again.

"Look...I don't like her, okay?" Reno snapped. "After what she did to you?"

"I'm well aware of what she did to me," Rude replied coolly. He looked to the door again, wondering if he'd be able to track her down again, once he'd settled things here with Reno. "You know, you never liked her. You sent Cissnei to spy on us - "

"And it's a good thing I did," Reno retorted defensively. He pulled back from Rude, frowning at him. "If I hadn't 'a sent her to tail you two, I wouldn't have caught her tapping your fucking phone!"

"Shut up," Rude snapped. "I've heard this from you a thousand times before, and once again, I don't want or need your opinion." It wasn't often Reno and Rude got peevish with one another, but Chelsea was a huge, huge bone of contention between the two, and she had always been.

"You'll regret it," Reno called after him, his face reddening with anger and embarrassment. "If you go after her, Rude, it's a mistake - "

"Maybe it is, maybe it isn't," Rude tossed a few paper gil notes on the bar, talking over his shoulder. "But if it is, it's my mistake to make." He groaned, rubbing his temples with a leather-gloved hand as he left the bar. _Reno's giving me a fucking headache._

 _But...he might have a point. Why go after her? What are you even going to say to Chelsea now, after all these years?_

"I have no fucking idea," Rude muttered to nobody, making his way over the crisscrossed network of little footbridges as he headed up toward the pagoda. He spotted a lone figure in the distance, seated by the koi pond - could be Chelsea, for all he knew, or it could even be the Kisaragi girl.

* * *

Chelsea's heart was still fluttering madly, even after putting some distance between herself and Rude. She found herself feeling both relieved and disappointed when he didn't immediately follow her out of the Turtle's Paradise. She hadn't gone there expecting to see Rude; hell, she hadn't gone there expecting to see _anyone_ she knew. And Chelsea was not stupid, she knew by the daggers Reno was glaring at her all these years later just how angry he still was with her for hurting his partner, his friend.

 _He has every right to be pissed off,_ Chelsea told herself. She folded her legs to the side, seated on a curved stone bench near the large koi pond toward the northwestern end of town. For one gil, there were packets of food available to feed the fish; Chelsea got up, inserted her money into the machine, and was rewarded with a small sack of the feed. Emblazoned upon the little bag was a warning against over-feeding the koi, done in Wutaian characters.

She smiled and took her seat on the bench again, tossing some of the fish feed into the koi pond, stifling a small laugh as she saw the colorful fish fighting for a bite.

"Always told you….if you keep feeding every animal you see, they'll never go away. " A gruff voice sounded behind her, and Chelsea of course knew who it was before turning around to face him. Part of her didn't _want_ to face him; she'd come to Wutai on a bit of a spiritual retreat trying to unravel her life, when fate put Rude in her path quite unexpectedly.

"Didn't you say that the first time I cooked dinner for you, Rude?" Chelsea asked softly, giving Rude an awkward smile. She wasn't sure if he'd be happy to see her, angry – or, possibly worst of all, indifferent.

"You were always an excellent cook, Chelsea," Rude fought back a grin himself. "And you proved my point. I _did_ keep coming back. Until – " His face took on a pained look, and he coughed into his gloved hand. "…well."

"Yeah. Until we broke up. Listen, Rude – I'm so sorry – "

"Chelsea...I know that you are," Rude cut her off, rather abruptly. "You….don't have to say it anymore. I know."

"That doesn't mean I don't want to keep on saying it," Chelsea went on, her voice plaintive. "I know I was wrong. If I could go back and do it all again – "

"But we can't go back, can we?" Rude said gently. He finally took a few steps forward, then took a seat next to Chelsea. Gods, she was still beautiful, damn it all. She'd aged a bit in the years since Rude had last seen her, but then again so had he. But oh, she had aged _well_. Just a few little crinkles had formed around her honey-brown eyes, and it honestly flattered her. The way her eyes tipped up when she smiled, the way she sat slightly hunched over like that when she was focusing on something – Rude hadn't forgotten any of her little mannerisms.

Nor had Rude forgotten about the various reasons they did not work, why they _could_ not work - Chelsea's betrayal at the center of it all, but beyond that - she'd _left_. Rude had been willing to try and talk things out, despite the well-vocalized objections from Reno, and Tseng, and Veld. So ashamed of what she'd done, Chelsea simply left, just when Rude was coming to grips with it all, weighing the options between forgiving her, or just letting go. If Reno hadn't caught her, the deception might have continued. And Chelsea realized, not until much later, how her actions could have caused irreparable harm - to the Turks, and to Rude.

 _He could have_ _ **died**_ _because of my actions. And why did I do it? For AVALANCHE? For a cause? I'm not even sure why I did it anymore._ _I believed it was for the greater good...Fuhito and Shears had me convinced..._

In those days, Chelsea was a fresh-faced and impulsive environmentalist, and she was also completely idealistic and somewhat naïve despite her passionate beliefs in her ecological causes. A small-town girl from an unnamed village in Mideel, back then Chelsea felt like the proverbial fish out of water as she made her way through the big city of Midgar, where a chance meeting with Fuhito and Shears would set her on a path that would determine the rest of her life, both for better and for worse.

Chelsea had grown up near the shore in a beach resort town, just as Rude had in Costa del Sol, and the two pounced upon that commonality they had with one another the moment they met. They had quite literally bumped into each other on Loveless Avenue, and Rude gallantly offered to buy Chelsea a coffee. That first meeting – not quite a real date -, they talked over their coffees, quietly flirting and getting to know one another. A few weeks later, they had their first date at a Wutaian restaurant, both of them complaining good naturedly how the fish was so much fresher in their respective hometowns.

" _Someday I'll take you there, Chels, back home to Costa_ ," Rude had told her. _"...maybe have you meet my mother_." Yes, it _had_ been getting that serious, all the while Fuhito and Shears urging Chelsea to get closer to the Turk. And she did get closer - although one thing Chelsea hadn't counted on _falling in_ love with the taciturn Costan.

Rude quietly coughed, taking the last handful of the koi feed out of the bag and tossing it into the pond, smirking. "I'd prefer these sliced up, with a bit of toasted nori, and rice...maybe some ponzu...and some sesame seeds - "

Chelsea laughed softly. "Rude. You're so bad. Koi make for terrible sushi, you know."

"Nothing's better than Costan conch - "

"No, Mideelian scallops are much better - " They both laughed for a moment, then smiled at one another.

"You look well, Chelsea," Rude murmured, then chuckled dryly. "Ah hell. You look _beautiful_. I didn't expect otherwise, but...the years have been good to you."

"And you're as handsome as ever," Chelsea replied quietly. She gripped the edges of the stone bench, pulling her shoulders in tightly as she sighed. "I've missed you. I'm sorry I didn't keep in touch - I didn't think it would be wise, considering - "

"You left me," Rude said flatly. He hated how hurt he sounded, he didn't want her to know how deeply she'd wounded him. He had his pride after all, and that was so many years ago. Rude had envisioned how it would be to run into Chelsea someday.

 _No. It still hurts. Maybe not as strongly now as it did then, but seeing her again...brings it all back._

"I didn't want to," Chelsea whispered. She stood up, brushing off her skirt; one of those long and flowing brightly-colored things she always liked to wear that reminded him of home – of Costa del Sol. Rude's eyes lingered over her figure for a moment and he quickly looked away, feeling guilty.

"You're still with the Turks," Chelsea murmured. It was a statement, not a question, and she gestured toward Rude, who now stood, facing her. "The suit, of course," she added, gesturing.

"...yeah. Still a Turk," Rude confirmed. He smiled, jerking his thumb back toward the direction of Turtle's Paradise. "And still partnered with Reno. You remember him, I'm sure."

"I remember." Chelsea laughed nervously. "He hated me. Probably still does, judging by the dirty look he gave me in the bar."

"He's always had my back," Rude shrugged his shoulders. _But sometimes...I think he went a little too far. Spying on me, confronting Chelsea - I knew something was off, I knew it even before she tapped my phone._

"Just so you know...I didn't approve of Reno's methods. Tailing us constantly, assigning other Turks to spy on us. I think I knew, deep down...that something was wrong," Rude confessed. "I knew about your involvement with AVALANCHE. I just didn't want to face it, until Reno forced me to." The big man chuckled bitterly, without mirth. "I still don't know, to this day, whether I should thank him, or kick his ass. Or maybe both."

Chelsea sighed, the old guilt and shame coming to the forefront again, and she was dangerously on the verge of tears. "I know you don't want to hear how I'm sorry again - "

"I don't," Rude said, rather abruptly. "Because...I _forgive_ you. Actually, I think I forgave you a long time ago."

 _I'm glad you do, Rude. Because I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive myself. I betrayed the man I loved, and I betrayed AVALANCHE. I don't know how I'm supposed to live with myself after that._

But Chelsea would not give voice to these thoughts, and instead said simply, "Thank you. It means a lot to hear you say that...more than you'll ever know."

"So..." Rude muttered, desperate to change the subject. "What have you been up to all these years?" He felt ridiculous asking the question, it felt like a line he might use at a high-school class reunion.

Chelsea's expression suddenly brightened, and a huge smile broke out over her face. "Well...there is one thing that's been keeping me busy," she replied, pulling a smartphone out of her satchel. Her blond brows were knit together in concentration as she thumbed through the photos stored on her phone, that bright smile of hers returning once again.

"I have a daughter," Chelsea told Rude, pointing at the photo of a petite blond girl, who looked to be about five years of age, in a school uniform. Her eyes were a golden brown like her mother's, the hair a much lighter blonde, tending toward a platinum shade rather than a medium blonde like Chelsea's.

"Her name is Violet," Chelsea added softly, and Rude took the phone from her hand for a moment, just nodding.

 _She could have been my little girl,_ Rude thought, his heart aching, though he truly was happy for Chelsea, he could not help but feel a bit empty inside. "She's beautiful." _Just like her mother..._

"Is she traveling with you? Where's her father?"

Chelsea shook her head, and pocketed the phone. "No, she's not with me…she's with my mother, in Mideel. I wanted to come to Wutai...to do some reflecting. Kind of a personal retreat. Her father..." A frown, and a shadow passed over Chelsea's face. "He's gone now. Returned to the Lifestream."

"Ah. Well...I hope you find what you're looking for." Rude rubbed his head, feeling awkward again. "And I'm sorry about your husband."

 _We weren't married_ , Chelsea nearly said, but decided against saying anything. _It doesn't matter._ "It was wonderful to see you again, Rude. I suppose I should get back to my room and get some sleep. "

Rude nodded. "Any plans for tomorrow?" He stood straight and tall now, cracking his neck to the side to work the kinks out, annoyed with himself again for resorting to ridiculous small talk. But gods, this was awkward. If they were on a date, this would be the point at which they'd share a good night kiss, or….

 _Or I'd go back to her place_ , Rude thought ruefully. Some small part of him might still want that, might still want _her_ , but his head overruled his heart once again.

"Sunrise hike up Da-chao," she replied, silently wishing she could just throw guilt and caution to the wind and invite Rude along. _What harm could it do, really?_ Chelsea mused. _He said he forgave me…_

Chelsea bit down her knuckle nervously, and finally looked up at Rude, her expression blank. "I guess this is good-bye once again," she said in a small voice.

Rude felt a sudden clenching in his gut that reminded him of one he'd felt nearly a decade before. This pain was different, though; it was more final.

"Yeah," Rude muttered, meeting Chelsea's embrace. They hugged tightly for a mere moment, but long enough for the scent of Chelsea's hair to carry on the night breeze up toward Rude's nostrils.

 _Damn it all._

She still looked good ,she still smelled good. She was still _Chelsea_. And Rude still loved her.

His mouth felt dry, and he pulled back from Chelsea, stifling a nervous cough with his hand. "Well…it was nice seeing you, Chels. If you're ever in Midgar – " Rude smiled, he could almost feel Reno eye rolling at him, if he'd ever heard that.

"I'll be sure to look you up," Chelsea replied, though she knew it was unlikely she ever would do such a thing. The other Turks were not likely to look upon her, a traitor to the Turks, with any favor.

"Goodbye, Chelsea." Rude inhaled sharply and then let out a slow breath, giving a slow wave to the woman he once thought was the **_one_** , before turning away, heading back toward Turtle's Paradise where he knew Reno would be waiting - ready to pounce on him and grill him.

 _Maybe I'll just go to sleep in the helicopter_ , Rude thought, and headed out toward the edge of town.


End file.
